Okay, it is officially Christmas season at our household. The outdoor decorations are up and working…at least for now. This afternoon we went and bought the tree and it’s currently in the stand in the living room—standing on its own which usually takes awhile to achieve, but this year’s tree was cooperative and stood up pretty straight and sturdy from the git-go. It’s not decorated yet. It is awaiting the dreaded installation of the tree lights. That’s my job and I dread it. My father used to have the same job and he didn’t like it very much either. However, he had the beer ratio going for him—one can of beer for every string of lights that went on the tree. I don’t have that advantage. I don’t drink.
It’s not that I am against drinking. No, there’s no moral or religious motivation. I just didn’t happen to get the drinking gene in my mix. I am a true embarrassment to the family. My father would have to apologize for me as I got past the minimum drinking age and refused one anytime someone offered. I just do not like the taste of beer or booze. Now, there are certainly enough people in my family to compensate for my shortcoming. It’s not like Budweiser will have to declare bankruptcy or anything. Bud and Jack (Daniels) will simply have to survive without me.
Not drinking has its advantages and disadvantages I suppose. The good thing is that I never get drunk. The bad thing is that I never get drunk. Trust me, there are times when a good buzz and a trip to a happy place would do me a lot of good. There are times, too, that I admit I need to loosen up. A little libation might be the perfect provider but, alas, the taste buds say “yuk!” and even the best bottle of wine would be a total waste on me. But you can buy me dark chocolate if you feel the need for gifting.
So, where was I? Oh yeah—Christmas, the tree and the lights. I decided I had done enough Christmas for one day. Consequently, the tree is not getting lit nor decorated on the same day it came into the house. It even needs a little pruning and straightening, but all that can be done another day. I don’t think this has ever happened before in all the trees I’ve been involved with—and there have been a good many. Not to worry, I did put water in the stand so it won’t go thirsty. It can stand there for a day—maybe even a week—before I put the lights on and the rest of the decorations. It’s not like Christmas is right this very minute. In fact, if there really really is a Santa Claus, maybe just maybe he will pay me an early visit and I will wake up one morning this week and discover that someone has put all the lights on the tree and I don’t have to do it. Wouldn’t that be just wonderful! Now for that, I would be more than happy to down a hefty mug of Bud and toast everyone—especially my dad—a very merry Christmas!
WAIT! WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS!
NEXT DAY UPDATE...We have lights! A few more adjustments to make, but the lights are on! Now all we have to do is gather the grandchildren and let them decorate…we may have to wait until the weekend. In the meantime, we have a glowing Christmas tree…life is good.
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