THE GREAT CRAB CAKE CAPER

There they were, positioned on the prestigious eye-level shelf in the freezer right next to the fresh seafood counter.  I see them there every week when I’m at the supermarket and every week I think about putting a box in my cart and every week I decide not to.  Ten bucks for four frozen crab cakes is a little much no matter how mouthwatering the picture on the box appears….and on this box, the picture is outrageous.  Take a look…

So guess what?  This week the crab cakes are on sale.  They’re knocked down to seven bucks.  I look at the picture on the box again.  They look like real crab cakes.  They wouldn’t put a phony picture on the box, would they?  Would they?  I bite (pun intended) and toss a box into my cart.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been through this routine.  Nope.  I’ve written about this before.  It’s one of my pet peeves.  It’s even one of the first things I’ll outlaw by executive order when I’m elected president.  As far as I’m concerned, when you buy a product that has its picture on the package, that picture better pretty damn well match what’s inside.  In fact, my new law would demand that all pictures on a package must be of a sample taken directly from the factory assembly line.  It is simply the right thing to do!  What you see is what you should get.

Now, the crab cakes.  They were horrendous.  Having grown up on honest-to-God Maryland crab cakes, I admit I am a bit particular.  I rarely buy them or order them at restaurants because too many times they turn out to be awful.  The picture on the “Original Recipe” box was absolutely, positively NOT a photo of the contents—not even close!   So remember…if you see my name on the ballot, vote for me and make frozen food great again!

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