The day has finally come.  I would have never believed it was possible. If you have visited ‘round these parts of the Internet at this time of the year you may have the slightest memory of the annual debate my wife and I have every Christmas. It’s a cantankerous bickering we engage in, sometimes in private, others time right in the middle of holiday shopping in the busiest of locations.  And what is it we so passionately argue over?  The Christmas tree!  Rosemarie wants an artificial one; I reject anything but the real version…always have, always wiwiwiwiiiiii.  And so, this year, holiday season 2020, it has come to this:  we spent the afternoon decorating our Christmas tree…an artificial Christmas tree.  Oh the humanity!

I guess I should count my holly jolly blessings.  After all, I have won the great Christmas tree debate 52 times…in a row!  There were several factors that influenced my relinquishing my reign this year.  First of all, I’m old.  Lugging a heavy log in and out of the car, then in and out of the house does not seem as easy this year what with my spinal and back surgeries.  I am not as agile as I used to be and certainly not as strong. 

Then there is the issue of appearance.  C’mon admit it—a fake tree always looks fake…except lately.  The technology and manufacturing process have really branched out.  Some of these trees actually look real if you don’t get too close. And the ones that come pre-lit—well that’s a game-changer.  If I don’t have to string lights on the tree, you’ve got my attention.  And yes, we got a pre-lit tree.  And get this:  it has a remote control that allows you to choose eight different patterns of lights—white only, colored only, a mix of both blinking or fading in or out.  Gadzooks, it’s a cosmic Christmas experience!

The only thing that’s missing is that holiday smell of pine that works its way through the house.  Guess I’ll have to buy a smelly candle or two. Meanwhile, as I do every year, here are pictures of our annual arbor endeavor…shown in both white lights and color.  Note, even the woody driving through the branches has an artificial tree lashed to its roof this year. 

HoHoHo Everyone

About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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1 Response to OUT ON A YULE LIMB!

  1. tedintakoma says:

    Wowsie! No mall could top it! Not to needle you, but your sly “branching out” pun was, yule agree, fir the birds. How did you get up high to place the exquisite decorations everywhere? Next year, when you are pining for a real scent of Christmas, mix in 25 or so scented, tree-shaped auto air fresheners.


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