In case any of you may have noticed, I have disappeared for many many weeks. I know this is very unusual for my blog to go dormant, so maybe even one of you might be curious as to why. Well, now you shall learn why, but first I must ask you a favor. I’m not typing this posting with my hands. Instead, I am using a voice-to-text program. This allows me to voice what it is I wish to say and the computer types it out, although not always very accurately. Forgive me for not correcting some of these inaccuracies but I’m not able to do so in an efficient manner at this time. Nevertheless I think you’ll be able to read today’s posting and get beyond any typos, misspellings or inaccuracies. That said…hello again from Marc’s Blog!
So where to begin? I’m really not sure. first of all, I am always a little reluctant to write about certain personal things that have happened to me, particularly those things “medical” for lack of another word. But my life changed on April 4th and I’m not sure where it’s headed and how I’m supposed to get to wherever it is I’m supposed to get. so with all this ambiguity in mind, I will proceed and for those interested you will ride along while others of you may otherwise go on to doing something else.
around 3 a.m. on the 4th of April I woke up in the middle of the night which was not unusual for me and I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of decaf. I remember carrying it back to my desk in my room and placing it next to the keyboard. I assume then I sat down in the chair and began doing something on my computer. the only thing I remember after placing the coffee on my desk is violently hitting the floor with my right cheekbone. I have been falling a lot lately. No, not tripping or stumbling over something. The falls come while I’ve been asleep. I had falls out of bed and out of a chair that I might be sleeping in. I’ve had years and years of sleep disorders but I’ve never had the falling problem before. some of the falls have been pretty bruising but the ones that hurt the most are those when my head hits first. when your head hit something hard like a hardwood floor there’s an unusual sound that I can’t even describe and the proverbial flash of white light. it’s all true, it does happen. it’s happened to me several times but this last time was critically different. after I hit the ground I immediately woke up I was fully aware of what happened except for one thing that was different this time. I could not move anything nor sense anyting below my neck. I could see, I could hear, I could speak but I could not move any part of my body. I can, in no words, express the horror then I felt at this particular moment. I called for Rosemarie several times and thank God she woke up and came in. it must have been a horrible sight for her to see me lying motionless on the floor. I asked her to get her hand out of my face. she told me it wasn’t her hand, it was mine. perplexing is not a strong enough word to describe the situation.
She wanted to call 911. I maybe. because I wasn’t in any particular pain, persuaded her not to do that just yet. it was right at the beginning of the Coronavirus situation and the last place a 74 year old man should be at that time was the hospital. it took maybe a quarter to a half an hour that I spent struggling to move before I finally was able to gain some movement and sensation in my right leg. what seemed forever was the time it took for me to continue to gain movement and sensation in my body. with help from Rosemarie I was able to eventually get myself on my knees and then slowly work myself up the side of the bed and onto the mattress. I was relieved that I was able to move but still scared to death that I had radically injured myself beyond repair. we waited and fretted for a few more hours and then decided that I really had no choice–I should go to the ER and have myself checked out because I was still far from normal. both my arms and hands we’re paralyzed. I could move them, but I could not manipulate them in any fashion. they both felt that I had fallen asleep on them. they were numb and heavy and I had pins and needles up and down my arms into my hands.This is how they have remained ever since. I also discovered that I could not walk properly and in no way could do so by myself. I was in bad shape.
at the hospital they ran a bunch of tests on me and took x-rays and I was to have a third test the next morning after being held in the hospital overnight. all along all I thought of was the virus and not my particular problems from the fall. the virus news on the TV scared me sufficiently enough to know that the hospital was the last place that I should be. in the meantime it seemed that the room I was in had not been occupied for a while because it wasn’t very clean and I understood that all the virus victims we’re on the floor above me. despite my being a usually low key, uncomplaining patient. I was getting frustrated by not getting any help at all for those things that needed doing. Imagine being suddenly paralyzed and placed in an invironment that could kill you within days. since I have been told that the test I was having in the morning was not urgent and could be done at another time I decided I would check out of the hospital. It was only making matters worse. So I went home. I subsequently began a marathon of visits to doctors, resulting in tests of just about every part of my body. now, a month-plus later, my walking and the functioning of my arms and hands had slowly deteriorated even beyond where they were immediately after the fall. My entire way of living and functioning had changed dramatically in the moment my face hit the floor. So too had that of Rosemarie. We had much to do and much to think about…more on that next time while I had a great fall and await to see if all the king’s men can put me back together again.