I do not have a smart phone. Nor do I have a smart watch. I don’t drive a smart car and I don’t live in a smart house.  I don’t track how many paces or miles I go each day or the numer of times my heart pumps or my eyes blink.  And, come to think of it, I’d guess the amount of smarts I have occupying my brain is pretty much average

It is not so much that I am against smart things; it’s more a case that most of these new smart products simply don’t fit in with where I am in life right now.  Today, I took a seat in my old reliable thinking chair on the patio out back and came up with a list of smart items I could see myself using. Oh yeah, the first thing I did was change the name of my thinking chair to smart chair.  Smart thinking, huh? Here’s the list:

  1. Smart Body – Why not? This is the ultimate smart thing to have. Imagine, the minute something inside your body malfunctions, gets out of  sync, or its levels rise above or below where they are supposed to hover…well then, your smart body would be alert to any of these kinds of anomalies and immediately send out the fiirst responders to immediately fix them.
  2. Smart Appetite – Okay, this is sort of included with the smart body concept above. Here’s how a smart appetitide would fuction.  Once installed, you’d set the settings to things like how many calories you want to consume,  how heavy you want to be, your preferred waist size…stuff like that. Then, anytime you reach the imposed limit on any of these settings, your Smart Appetite would kick in and shut down all hunger and craving mechanisms.  You’d feel absolutely normal and be able to fuction in all capacities, except you simply would have no appetite, no hunger, no cravings. Then when your readings recycled back to their normal ranges, you would slowly, naturally start planning lunch.
  3. Smart Laundry – Attached to your washing machine would be a hamper with two bins, one for your colored clothes and one for whites. When your hamper bins reached a specified level, on would go the washer,  water and detergent would fill the tub, the hamper bin would empty into the water and later your clean clothes would be sent to the drying chamber, after which another part of the process would fold your dried clothes.  I’d really like one of these.
  4. Smart Maid – This little gadget would automatically read things like dust and clutter levels, spilled liquids and cookie crumbs. Once alerted, it’d turn itself on and go to whatever aisel or room need cleanup.
  5. Smart Blog – This was an afterthought I threw in for selfish reasons.  It’d be a blog that posted only things in which the majority of readers are interested. Each posting would be written perfectly with no mistakes, no typos or misspellings.  You’d be compelled to leave a like!



About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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