THE GREAT VOID

whereiswhere

I am not sure of the precise hour. I wasn’t paying any attention to the time.  In fact, I’m not even sure I remember what I was doing except I was busy and I told my granddaughter—who alerted me to the problem—that I’d be there in a few minutes to check on it.

I should have sensed danger.  After all, we had a hint of the problem yesterday.  I fiddled with it for a few minutes and—eureka—everything was back in order.  Then everyone in the household settled in for a normal day.

For just the briefest of moments I thought what if I hadn’t been able to resolve the problem. What would we have done?  I don’t even want to think about what kind of disaster could have occurred. But it wasn’t long before I had to.

The next morning, without any warning—unless I consider yesterday’s abbreviated episode a blip on the radar—it happened again and this time there would be no eureka moment.  I came to this conclusion after I went through the same checklist procedure  I processed the day before but this time nothing on the checklist checked out. OMG! This was serious.  I immediately began to feel the void.  I immediately began to feel the shortness of breath.  My world was crashing in on me.

I went rummaging through my paper pile to retrieve a phone number.  Ah-ha! Good thing I ignored all those demands about going paperless.  If I didn’t have my paper pile I wouldn’t have been able to quickly find a phone number in this moment of crisis.

So I called.  Surprise, Surprise!  The person designated to help me was actually located in this country and spoke accent-free English.  Now I realize that sounds a bit off, but when things aren’t going right that’s exactly the time you don’t want to have to be saying “excuse me” every time the person assigned to help you opens his or her mouth.

It wasn’t long before it was confirmed that, indeed, there had been a colossal failure that caused the crisis.  I was told, “Not a problem,” so said the helper on the help line, “I can ship you a new one overnight.  You’ll have it tomorrow morning.

“But, but, but!” I responded in a panic as I explained I’d be without for the rest of the day and then all through the night.  How could he ask that of anyone?  He laughed.  He thought I was just joking.  I wasn’t.

I thought about playing cards to occupy the time. I don’t play cards; don’t know any card games other than fish and war. Then I thought about going to the grocery store, but I had just done the mother load there yesterday.  I had to finally man up and pull out the ultimate go-to when times are desperate—so I went to the hardware.  I bought some things on my try-to-never-do-list and then went home and did them.  I even  treated myself to a new power screwdriver, a tool I have seriously missed since mine broke a few years back.  None of this worked.  Life was miserable and would be until the problem went away.

And it didn’t do that until late in the afternoon the next day and only after the “fix” arrived in the morning and didn’t work; after subsequent phone calls were made and didn’t work. No, not until, hallelujah!, a living, breathing human being showed up on my doorstep around 4 o’clock.  An hour later, life was back to normal.  My new router finally rev’d up, the green and yellow lights blinking in their proper sequence and alignment; the electronic components were purring like ah…well, like a new router.  And, after approximately 32 straight, grueling hours without ANY access to the Internet, my life and my computers were up and running once again.  Nobody, absolutely nooooobody, should ever have to go through this.

*****

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About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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