A bunch of random items for the blog today, so dip in and out if there is anything to your liking…even double dipping is allowed!
For Father’s Day my daughter gave me a DNA kit from ancestery.com. This is the latest rage among family tree builders who are meticulously researching their family history. It has hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people spitting in a little vial and then mailing it off to a DNA lab. There, your spit is analyzed and it’s DNA is traced. I will get a printout of where all my family origins are located and what percentage of each race and nationality makes up who I am today. My father many times cautioned me not to do this kind of thing. He said there were no doubt horse thieves in the family and it was best to let sleeping horse thieves lie.
I’m not sure whether or not my father was kidding, but I have to assume thievery is not passed down genetically from one generation to another. Currently, there are no car thieves or shoplifters in our family—at least that I know of. Then again, if I wind up with genetic connections to folks like Jesse James, Al Capone, John Dillinger or D.B. Cooper, well then maybe I should be a bit concerned.
It’ll probably be 6-8 weeks before I get my DNA results. I will be sure to post something about them when they arrive. In the meantime, keep your valuables locked up…y’know, just in case.
Speaking of relatives, I will be visiting some this week. We’ll be invading our niece’s house in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. This is Amish territory so I will be sure to take a picture of a horse and buggy if one happens by. I hope maybe we can visit one of their farmer’s markets and pig out on some fresh fruit pies for which the Amish are known for. There is a side trip planned to my alma mater, Penn State. I have not been on campus since 1968 so I expect not to recognize the place. I am sure it will be interesting to see how such a huge campus, as I remember it, could have gotten even larger since I left. I will make sure to find the famous Penn State Creamery and stop by for ice cream. Here’s a factoid: When they were simply two guys looking for something to do, Ben and Jerry took an ice cream making course at Penn State to get them started in the business.
Then, it’s off to Margate on the Jersey Shore to spend the July 4th holiday with our BFF’s, breathe in the fresh salt air and stuff myself with the world’s best cinnamon buns made at Casel’s, an incredible independent supermarket. And, by the way, for any thieves in or out of my family, don’t think my house is left abandoned while I am gone. A bunch of people live at my house besides Rosemarie and me. Among them, my adult son and Bill the Dog will be home…both have exceptionally sharp fangs.
Upon my return after the holiday, it’ll be time to launch my next book. This one is a thin, sort of humorous bathroom read. It’s a compendium of whimsical retorts—wisecracks and one-liners to assist those who have been zinged. The book will help you be better prepared to respond to those times when someone throws you a nasty line or does something that really pisses you off. The book is targeted to daters of all ages, or just about anyone who is/has been in a relationship that isn’t working . The title is “What I Should’ve Said…and now I wish I had.” I’ll leave you with a sample page…