[First, a warning…this posting contains a paragraph that some may consider violent and you are advised to cover your eyes when you come to it or otherwise proceed to the next paragraph. Also, if you have not seen the movie, The Revenant, and plan to, there may be some spoilers presented here about scenes in the movie…but nothing dealing with the plot and its outcome. One more also…this is not a movie review, just some observations about one.]
So the premise is threefold: First, I rarely go to the movies anymore; second, I won’t go to a movie that has a lot of violence in it; and third, I won’t go the to movies on Saturday night because it’s date night and the theaters are always over-crowded and over-priced.
Saturday night I went to see The Revenant.
Yeah, I know. How the hell did that happen? Well, I was upstate a couple hundred miles in Jacksonville, Florida for the weekend. I went there to attend a workshop for authors about ways to market yourself and your books. (Oh, by the way, I must tell you I am an author and I’ve written six books, all of which you can purchase on amazon…go to marckuhn.com to learn more.)
While I was at the workshop, my wife spent time with Bridgette, one of our granddaughters who lives in Jacksonville. The three of us went to an early dinner Saturday and then decided we’d go to a movie. I silently gulped, and did not mention the Saturday night thingy. So Bridgette whips out her telephonaroonie, as I refer to it, and after a brief conversation between her and her phone, she read out the list of movies showing at a theater just about ten minutes away. The Revenant was the winner. I didn’t vote.
Okay, over the past week or two, as I passed in front of the television on the way to the kitchen, I have noticed a few commercials that are currently running to promote The Revenant. Now that we’re on our way to see this movie, I’m thinkin’ “okay, guy gets really messed up in the woods by a snarly grizzly and then has to crawl his way out with a body that is bearly (misspelled pun intended) able to move.” Items to make note of: winter…wilderness…lots of freezing cold temps…snow and unfriendly people everywhere. I figure I can make it through the bear attack if I concentrate on the popcorn and Twizzlers in my lap and then cheer on Leonardo DiCaprio as he claws his way back to civilization and a possible Oscar. I can do this.
Trouble was, I really did not know much about the movie. No one told me about all the arrows that the Indians shoot at the white men and how visually accurate is the depiction of the arrows as they penetrate human skulls and chests and backs and just about every other part of the body.
No one told me about how perceptively real Hollywood can show how a knife and hatchet can likewise sliver and slice their way through various appendages of the human body. I do recall someone telling me perception is reality. No one told me that one can survive the bitter cold of the American wilderness in the 1800’s by slicing open a dead horse, disgorging all its guts and organs and then refilling the now-empty cavity with oneself so you can sleep a another night without freezing to death. I could go on.
Well, if Leonardo can survive this trek, albeit having all the hot chocolate he wanted from the actors’ commissary, I suppose I survived it even without the hot chocolate. The movie ran a little over two-and-a-half hours. It was amazing my restless body remained seated from start to finish. Several times I found myself thinking, “okay, I get it. It’s cold, he’s hurt and there’s lots of snow. Can we move on?”
I left The Revenant convinced of two things. First, I am so happy I live in Florida. I will never move north again. And, second, while all the talk is about Leonard DiCaprio finally snagging an Oscar for Best Actor, it’s the villain, Tom Hardy, who should definitely take home the one for Best Supporting. The bear was pretty good too.
*****
mk4567blog.wordpress.com 
Thanks for all the comments. I should go to the movies more often. Margie, there is no Chinook here in South Florida…all we get from Canada are what we call “Snow Birds” who come down here to escape winter up there. Naz, you should stick with Pixar films. They are about as violent as a cotton swab. And Ron, if you get a small dog be advised that are usually yappers who don’t stop barking and being snarly if anyone comes near the house…and don’t think they can’t bite just becuase they’re small. Bill has more than once chomped down on my thumb. Go back to goldens!
LikeLike
Sounds like a movie I should give a miss.. as usual, love the way you write.. lol!
LikeLike
This is my second attempt at a reaction to your most recent blog entry. I don’t know where my first attempt went. I, too, don’t see extremely violent films. When I was in my late teens, I had a job in a local hospital. I watched an autopsy of a child who died at birth. That was enough realistic violence for me. Some exceptions have been DiNiro in “Raging Bull” and most of Tarantino films. The dialog is brilliant and the violence is so obviously (well) staged that I don’t have to remind myself every minute “it’s only a movie.” Besides, I saw Spotlight and it’s worth an Oscar. Donna feels the same as I do and has omitted “Raging Bull”. “Inside Out” (Pixar?) is her favorite type of movie. And any version of anything by Jane Austen.
We got your copy of “Anchor.” It’s impressive —AND Donna and I are in it. It was the biggest part we’ve had in a book so far. By the time you complete your twelve novel, maybe we’ll have an even larger role. Eg, “my friend Ron did the proofreading for this novel. Address all complaints to him. Donna, his wife, kept him within 10 feet of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream as he went through all 283 pages.”
Incidentally, about half of the 25” of snow we’ve got has melted. It was the 5th largest snow in Philly ever. For the first day, no one and nothing moved —no matter what was said on the news. Kids loved it, except for those who got lost in the snow drifts.
It’s been exactly one month since Jake died. We still think about him daily, but we are beginning to think about another dog. Maybe a smaller one. I can’t bench press as much as I used to. I think we’ve accepted that his quirks will always make us laugh. And, to be blunt, we’re better people when a dog lives with us.
Stay well, Ron and Donna
>
LikeLike
The movie was shot here in Alberta, but they had to finish filming elsewhere when one of our warm Chinook winds blew in. DiCaprio described the Chinook as ‘terrifying’, and said it demonstrates the effects of Climate Change. Locals call the winds a welcome respite from the long winter chill, and have being doing so for generations.
LikeLike