December is here and already it’s being cantankerous. My last blog is gone…honest, it’s gone. Like Poof! It was the one with excerpts from my upcoming new book, Anchor. I noticed this morning that it no longer exists. All that was on my blog page was a leftover Thanksgiving greeting….and we’ve all had enough leftovers from Thanksgiving thank you very much.
Before I go any further, let me say this. December has no business being here. It’s far too early. I just finished with spring and haven’t even gotten into summer or fall. This year has been on fast-forward like none other. I do not know who pushed that button but if your finger is still on it, let me give you a hint: TAKE IT THE HELL OFF THAT BUTTON! I was just finishing up my Peeps from Easter and already I gotta shop for Christmas presents. Not fair.
So, now back to our main feature…if one’s blog posting totally disappears with no notice, not even a snail mail post card, is that an omen? Considering what a problem it’s been writing this latest book, I take it as that–and not a good omen either. The book is doomed! Not only will it not make the New York Times Best Seller List, it will be banned in several cities and ultimately will not sell more than two copies….hey, that’s just like all my other books. Am I feeling sorry for myself or what? I can’t help it…my blog disappeared. Somebody took it and now it’s in the back of a white Ford van that’s driving at 90 miles per hour up I-95 and soon I will get a ransom note.
OH!! Now I realize why things are screwed up. November 29th marked the 3rd year anniversary of marc’s blog. Yep, for three years I’ve been churning out 2-4 blob postings every week–haven’t missed a beat. That’s 347 postings and everyone has been different. Nope, no cookie-cutter scripts for my readers–they get only the best original scripts, all prime, no fat….except for today. But that’s because my blog is missing and I don’t know where it is…no doubt afloat somewhere out there in cyber space, untethered and vulnerable to all kinds of horrible influences. It remains adrift, with no direction home, like an airborne stone.
Perhaps I should call the authorities. Maybe they will organize a google search party to go look for my blog. I have also ordered some memorabilia which may be purchased at reasonable prices so you will have a fond memory of my blog should it not come back. The “I survived marc’s blog” t-shirts will be buy-1-get-1-free. The mugs will be 2 for $10 and I will come to your house and pour coffee into them for the ridiculous fee of one dozen home-made chocolate chip cookies.
In the meantime, if you see my blog posting with the excerpts from my book, please tell it to come home. I promise never again to fester my postings with typos, misspellings and incoherent sentences….well, maybe some will still show up.
Okay, I am saddened, but I must move on. I am ready to face December. May the gift purchasing force be with you.