I HEREBY DECLARE THE PHONE PRIVATE!

phoners

I consider my telephone my private property and I highly resent anyone using it to solicit money from me. Why is that such a hard concept for people, businesses and our legal system to understand?  I pay for my physical phone.  I also pay for the transmission service it utilizes, along with a bunch of other surcharges and taxes that nobody sane has any understanding of.

It goes without saying that if some stranger comes along, opens the door to our house—or to our car for that matter—steps in and makes himself at home we are outraged and can have that person arrested. Everybody seems to get that. Why don’t they get the same concept when it comes to the telephone? It is ridiculous how many times a week I am interrupted by a phone solicitation, usually in the middle of doing something from which I do not want to be distracted or interrupted.

The “Do Not Call” plan the government implemented a few years back was a joke. I have the same group of people calling me WEEKLY wanting to check my computer’s performance.  I am positive that no matter how flawlessly my computer may be operating, they will find a serious problem with it and, of course, they have just the software that will fix it for only $249.  They are in India somewhere and I never quite understand what it is they are saying because their accents are heavy. The minute I begin questioning who they are and exactly what they want, and why they keep calling me every week after I’ve told them I am not interested, they hang up.  Of course, you cannot trace their number as you can others if you have such a mechanism on your phone. They craftily have learned how to keep themselves anonymous.

Last night the local police department called. They call regularly too. The guy already knew my first name and was very chummy. He talked to me like we were old buddies.   Of course, he was after a donation that always has some sympathetic youth angle to it. I politely declined and immediately he changed his whole demeaner faster than a speeding ticket. He asked if I watched the news and was aware of the dangerous situation going on in my neighborhood. I explained that I don’t watch the news that often and that I’ve lived in my house for a good number of years and I believe, based on my observations, that crime is not the kind of issue in my immediate neighborhood that he portrays.  He began criticizing me about not watching the news and implied I was some kind of idiot because I was not interested in protecting myself and then he hung up. This was a local officer of the law, a man hired to protect my wellbeing, not falsely scare the crap out of me as a lure for a donaton and then attack me personally because of what I choose not to watch on television. Once he learned I was not going to write a check he automatically turned off the buddy-buddy attitude and instantly switched into the same kind of arrogant, higher-than-mighty police officer who waits hidden behind a tree aiming a radar gun at me as I drive through our neighborhood streets.  In fairness to the reputable police in our local communities, take note of Mike Fuller’s comment following this posting.  True, this guy who called me could have been one of those he speaks of.  Why is our world so screwed up?

When I am President, I will put a to stop to all this.  You and I will be able to remain in the privacy of our home without some ill-intentioned jerk or someone among hundreds in a call center ringing our phone off the hook.  We should be able to impose a heavy fine against telephone solicitors who use our phones to invade our privacy. In fact, we should also be able to have them arrested when they persist. I’d lock them in a cell, give them a fisher-price phone and call them every ten minutes.

And oh yeah, if it’s a wayward cop we arrest, he or she will have to give up their radar gun and complete a course on being a human being at a local charm school.

*****

…and here is a call out to some people who recently stopped by marc’s blog and left a “like” or a comment…thank you so much for stopping by:  Damyanti, Almost Iowa, Patti Clark, Elan Mudrow, Nina Karadzic, breybrey44, Ron Carmean, Mike Fuller, Margie of Curating Serendipity, TheSeeds4Life, Tim Williams, Anne Marie Carter and Rita Petrushansky-Mastroni,

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About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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7 Responses to I HEREBY DECLARE THE PHONE PRIVATE!

  1. Almost Iowa says:

    I agree with Mike Fuller, chances are the guy who called you is not a cop but a telemarketer who gets a (large) cut of your donation.

    Chances are just as good that it’s a scam.

    Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    I have called ID and answering machine. They still call. American Red Cross calls a lot just do not pick up.

    Like

  3. Margie says:

    When my daughter gets a call from a telemarketer, she just hands the phone to her 2 year old. It doesn’t take long for the caller to hang up, and she generally doesn’t hear from them again…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. rcarmean says:

    We get the same calls in Pennsylvania. “Do Not Call” lists have no effect here either. Persistence is the only virtue of these callers. Are all “likers” here running into this?

    Like

  5. Marc Kuhn says:

    Mike Fuller Again….I revised my post and made reference to your comments…thanks for the clarification.

    Like

  6. Marc Kuhn says:

    MIKE FULLER: I knew I might hear from you and I am sure what you say is true. As in any profession (auto repair? home maintenance?) there are the bad apples who ruin it for the good ones. I admit I have an “attitude” about some police because of personal treatment (I’ve never had a speeding ticket!) and there seems to be a culture–maybe just here in Florida–that makes them universally arrogant and unfriendly to everyone. I know, there’s lots to say on the other side of the argument. However, if ever I am to be arrested for the first time, I think I would prefer you come out of retirement and do it!

    Like

  7. They’re not cops. It’s some loser who can’t get a job anywhere else sitting in a room dialing numbers. Probably in Des Moines not Coral Gables. And if ANY of the money solicited by these “professional” solicitors makes to the local FOP it is a small percentage of actual donations. It is illegal for these phone jockey losers to impersonate a law enforcement officer and whichever local police organization is contracting with them should be ashamed of themselves for hiring these schemers. The last “officer” solicitor I arrested was a 50 year old chain smoking 300 pound slob sitting in a rented office robo calling and threatening donors with his version of “police”intimidation trying to wring a few bucks out of them. The “Oh, I would never say I’m an officer” excuse didn’t work, we had them on tape.

    Liked by 1 person

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