My perspective has changed and I don’t like it. There is a definite re-direction in my attitude when it comes to anything having to do with the future. I can hear some of those close to me saying, “Okay, Marc, here you go again with being negative and looking at the glass half-empty.” But this is a little different…I think. It has to do with age and how you approach the process of going from being an active adult with a family and career to watch over to being retired with no more alarm clock in the morning and no kids to worry about—at least young kids who need you or your resources to get through the day.
After a few years of retirement, along with birthdays you no longer want to celebrate, life seems to move you into landscape where you’ve never been before. In my younger years I was always thinking about the future and what I needed to do to get there. There would be plans made, at least mentally if not listed out and activated. There would be goals set and materials goods sought after.
The parameters are different now. I saw a tool the other day that was pretty cool and normally I would have bought it with the thinking that it would come in handy one day. Well, my tool days are pretty much over. I am not prone to spend a day fixing something anymore. That’s why I have a home fix-it insurance policy. That’s why I live in a community that cuts my grass and trims my hedges and takes care of the property. So as I fondled this tool in my hands—yes men appreciate a good tool and will fondle it—I thought, “What the hell am I ever going to do with this tool. I will never use it.” So I unfondled it and put it back in the rack. Last year we bought a new car and part of the criteria was the fact that this would probably be our last car and we wanted to make sure it was what we needed. Strange.
This is how I am thinking about a lot of things lately. Do I need it? What will I do with it? Am I spending money I don’t have for something I don’t need? I don’t even look at things that used to attract my attention. Lots of advertising has absolutely no role in my life anymore because the products or services are things I absolutely don’t need or want these days.
This blog, along with some other things I’m writing, have become my motivation for getting up in the morning. I am glad that I have a few projects I’m working on. Plus I have a bunch of websites to take care of and I help my wife with one she has for the jewelry she makes. So I have enough to do, plus I add in the things we all wind up doing: the dishes, the laundry, keeping the alligators out of living room and the never-ending errands here and there and runs to the supermarket.
But what it is, is that the future as it used to be, is gone. The future now is pretty set in place and not hard to predict. I just have to hope I get through it with as little discomfort—physical and mental—as possible. The upside? I at least know there will still be ice cream.