IT’S OFFICIAL…I’M FAT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!

fatguy

I’ve been skinny most of my life. When I was a kid it took me forever to break the scale much beyond 100 pounds.  “Boney” would be a good description of me then.  The big positive of my thin build as I became an adult, was that I could eat and eat and eat and never gain a pound.  Even if I did, it was gone in a day or so.  Consequently, I never paid much attention to what I ate and I rarely moved my belt to the next notch up.

My father gave me his svelte figure, thank you.  I got his body, with one exception.  He loved his beer.  I don’t drink at all.   I got the family booze-negative gene.  Beer, wine, scotch, bourbon, whatever—it all has a medicinal taste to me.  I was an embarrassment to my father who descended from a long line of Jack Daniels consumers.  Fortunately, he did his drinking at home so I did not have to go with him on any booze-bonding father and son treks to the corner pub.   I bring up his drinking which, btw, was only an occasional issue and nowhere near the problem many families have with alcohol abuse…but I bring it up because he had a good beer gut which is the only thing that differentiated the similarities in our body structure.  He also had a liking for carving chunks off a whole mini-salami and popping them in his mouth while watching TV.  He’d alternate the salami with a slice of cheese.  All this beer, salami and cheese I’m sure is what gave him the nice rotund appearance he achieved between his chest and hips once he hit 60.  I would nag him about it, more and more each year as it grew more and more each year.

Now, like for many other items on a list I keep in my head, I own him an apology.  Ever since I reached 60 I have developed the same beer gut, except I did it without the beer or the salami.  My stomach just started taking off on me about two years ago and it hasn’t stopped.  Finding a comfortable pair of pants became an ongoing challenge.  But that was my least worry resulting from my new stomach.  Last year I had a couple stays in the hospital, a few procedures done in the out-patient clinic and, finally, got the direct order from the doctor to lose the stomach because it was causing all these problems and things were only going to get worse.

So, for the first time in my life I have a weight problem just like so many other normal people.   I’ve been going to the gym since the first week in October.  I usually go every-other day and I am proud to say I’ve stuck pretty close to that schedule.  I put 50 minutes/10 miles on the stationary bike and then I hit the machines, especially all the ones that work the abs. I’m there a good 90 minutes or more beating myself up.  I have lost NOT ONE INCH off my waist.  Yes, I’ve dropped a few token pounds, most of which thinned out my face, ankles and wrists but NOT ONE ounce from my stomach.

I bought a diet book.  Yes, I actually went to amazon and bought a diet book.  It’s the latest one too, called “Zero Belly Diet.”  It’s written by the same flat-bellied guy who wrote all the “Eat This/Not That books.  His theory is that I can go to the gym for the rest of my life and it won’t reduce my waistline.  According to him (his name is David Zinczenko) there is new science out that dictates eating specific foods that stop the gene mechanisms that produce fat and there are certain foods that do it a certain way that the stomach fat takes a direct hit.

I’m about halfway through the book and I figure I’ll get started on the diet on Monday after I allow myself one last pig-out session at a Super Bowl party we’ve been invited to.  Then it’ll be 2 weeks of trying to adhere to the book’s initial startup instructions and menu.  It even says on the cover that I can lose up to 16 pounds in 14 days…go figure.  All this will be a radical change in lifestyle for me.  I am sure there will be fodder for the blog next week, if not for my dinner table.

Advertisements

About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
This entry was posted in WHATEVER! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s