PREPARE TO BE ALIENATED!    

AlienSign copy

A NASA scientist has announced he expects alien life outside of earth to be discovered within the next 20 years.  Well, even though lately I haven’t been spending much time in my thinking chair on the back patio, this got me to thinking.  I would have to assume that the arrival of aliens would be treated no differently from the way we Americans treat anything new that plops itself on our doorstep.  Think about it…

  • Right away our new immigration laws—which I guess MAY be passed by Congress within the next 20 years, will all have to be revised. Can you imagine the thousands of illegal aliens who will be entering into our space immediately occupying our schools, demanding food stamps, manipulating our health care system and working for next-to-nothing in all our labor-intensive job markets.  It’ll be inhumane.
  • Disney would have to build a new Alien Land at its parks and come up with all kinds of new rides, cartoon characters, movies, songs and stuffed alien dolls.
  • There would be a revival of the video game Alien Invaders which I would think will scare the hell out of the aliens upon seeing the intensity in our children’s eyes as they blow up every alien ship that descends on earth.
  • Our evening skies would be aglow with thousands of alien flying saucers hovering just above the horizon as each waited its turn to be processed by U.S. Immigration officials.
  • Our import industry would go ballistic salivating over the sale of all kinds of new products we would import from the Alien nations, not the least of which would be some kind of cheap fuel that will run our cars, provide us electricity and become an additive in just about every product we manufacture.
  • The aliens would begin clustering amongst themselves within our communities, creating mini-alien neighborhoods which displaced citizens would resent, except for the new alien restaurants that would feature unusual cuisine that we Americans would find deliciously trendy, especially the fly-through windows where take-out orders would be processed and packaged in little microwavable containers.
  • Aliens would prove themselves especially adept at playing a particular sport and would begin breaking all previous records, demanding outrageous salaries and almost overnight begin out-selling all sports memorabilia with custom products that contained  alien names and player numbers.
  • Our young will soon yearn to be like “them” and want to move to their planets where real estate will be incredibly cheap.  Our elders will become hostile and will initiate long-term prejudicial attitudes and alien profiling.
  • Vacation packages and cheap flights to the planets will soon dominate vacation destinations.  Alien resorts will pop up everywhere in the solar system and feature spectacular crater views and low gravity weight-loss camps.
  • Alien music will begin dominating the industry and the pop charts will be filled with a new, weird style of rhythms that American adults will not understand nor be unable to dance to.

I am sure there are many other things that will change.  The aliens will no doubt bring a new diversity to our culture which many of us will embrace while many others will try to fend off and avoid.  Twenty years will not be enough time for earth’s governments to prepare, but I am confident the marketing plans will be well in place by next year.  Personally, I’ll be happy just to take the T-shirt concession.

*****

 

 

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About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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