For the past two days I have been trying to sit in my thinking chair on the back patio and think.  But no.  No can do.  Someone has ruined all that.  Some thoughtless, lazy, raised-in-a-junk-yard kind of person(s) has screwed me big time.  Do I sound upset?  How’d you guess?

Mind you, I am not an environmental purist.  There have probably been times when I have thrown something in the trash that should have been taken to another planet or buried thirty feet under the bottom floor of the Pacific Ocean.  I am not proud of that; trash moments happen.  But I have also been known to go out of my way to do the right thing.  Right thing!  Hmmm, there is the puzzlement.  We all have different reference points as to what exactly is the right thing and therein lies the problem I am having while I attempt to sit in my thinking chair on the back patio and think.

Some semi-human creature—actually I suspect more than one creature—obviously wanted to dispose of something and decided the easiest thing to do would be to simply and quietly deposit it on the banks of the canal that runs behind my house.  It is an assault on Mother Nature herself and outrageously confronts every ounce of decency that personkind has accumulated up to this point in history.  I’m offended too.

Mind you, the view from my patio is not the most colossal scenic nugget you’d put in your treasure chest…but it is pleasant and I and the animals who live in it, like it.  There is the canal itself. Not a river or raging ocean, but a decent little tributary of water that fish, turtle, snake and foul all find quite satisfactory.  Most of the year the grass on the banks of the canal is lush green and there are a good number of trees too, a nice variety.

Now, something new has been added.  That’s it in the picture below.


I am not sure what it is.  It appears to be some kind of netting structure used in a sporting environment.  Wait, I almost forgot.  There are TWO of them, one nested in the other.  They are quite large, easily ten feet long.  That is why I think more than one perp is involved in this heinous crime.

I would guess these two thingies are some kind of backstop for baseball pitching practice or maybe soccer goals of some kind.  Whoever left them, did so deliberately.  They wanted to get rid of them and they did not want to go to the trouble of finding out how to do it properly.  So they dumped them in my scenic space and then quietly left the scene of the crime.  The Environmental Protection Agency did not protect me.  I feel violated.

So, now I cannot sit and think in my thinking chair.  I am too incensed and angry to think.  I can only sit and stew in what has become my stewing chair.  This is not a good thing.  I have called the city and they made notes and said that a Code Enforcement Officer would be assigned to the case and this person would soon appear on the scene to determine if a code is in need of enforcing.

I actually have some faith that the city may follow through.  It is, after all, not the United States Congress I am dealing with.  I am sure if I called my senator or congressperson the debris in question would be taken up in committee, debated along party lines and then tied up in the bureaucracy for the next gazillion years with absolutely no action ever taken.  Congress would show me no empathy for the ugly affront that I have suffered. Nor could any of my elected representatives relate to my grief since I am sure they would never allow junk to accumulate in their pristine backyards.

Alas, I will let you know how it all comes out.  You will be hearing more trash talk from me.  After all, I have nothing else to do currently as I sit in my thinking chair on my back patio…not thinking.



About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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