I have no smart phone, no i-phone, no android with apps,
I feel so out of it, so square and even obtuse perhaps.
My phone’s the basic model, it cost me less than half.
When others see it they look at me and simply laugh.
They say I suffer from some pitiful self-inflicted abuse.
But I just don’t need a fancy phone to serve my use.
I don’t like to text; the buttons are too small, my fingers too big.
I no more need to text someone a message than I need to wear a wig.
I guess it’s nice to have tons of info there at your fingertips,
I know I’m always having to look things up like postal zips.
But then I notice with all these new fancy cellular phones
Their users use them like controlled hypnotic drones.
They are constantly texting or taking photos called selfies.
I think many of them suffer from bats in their belfries.
They text messages describing almost everything they do:
“I’m eating lunch; here’s a picture of my food; what about U?”
They switch words to initials and abbreviate almost every phrase.
It’s like a whole new language that’s become the latest craze.
Being in a room full of people in whose hands is a cellular phone,
Is like being on a deserted island where you’ve been left all alone.
You’ll be totally ignored unless you join their sacred ritual
Of learning to talk with your fingers until it becomes habitual.
As for me, their incessant pecking puts my brain in terminal slumber
For when I need to communicate with someone…I simply dial their number!