Welcome to today’s posting…but first these brief commercial messages:
As previously advertised, my new e-book for self-publishers is now available. It focuses on helping prepare a Word manuscript for uploading to a publishing/printing service. If you are a new wannabe author, or know someone who is, this new guide may make the attempt a little bit easier. It does come with a price…$4.95 USD. Interested? Learn more and even read a sample page at my website, http://marckuhn.com ….or if you are ready to download a copy now, simply click on the book cover to the right. Thank you!
And now, this just added to our advertising agenda…
My wife, the lovely Rosemarie, retired last November from the frantic world of nursing. To keep her from developing daily chores or shopping sprees for me to attend to, I encouraged her to follow her lifelong dream of becoming a jewelry maker. She has followed through sensationally! You may now purchase an exclusively hand-made piece of fine jewelry made by the love of my life. Where, you ask? At https://www.etsy.com/shop/JewelryByRosemarie?ref=l2-shopheader-name. Or, just go to etsy.com and search “jewelrybyrosemarie” and that’ll work, too. That’s a sample necklace pictured; click on it for an expanded view.
And now, today’s post!
Now that I have proclaimed this the final year of my youth, I am already busy preparing for next May when I will officially qualify as an old person. One thing that I am told I must do is start my bucket list. This, of course, is a list of things one decides he or she must do, or accomplish, before going off to that big whatever in the sky. Being on the cusp of cantankerousness, I am taking a slight deviation with my list. Instead of a bucket list, I have decided to compose a F*it list. With that being said, here are some items I’ve already put on the list. If you want to suggest others, be my guest. The more things on the F*it list, the merrier.
- I shall stop letting people go ahead of me. They never let me in front of them so why should I keep up this stupid humble role of acquiescing my rightful place in line. F*it.
- I shall go on an all-day—no, make that an “all-week”—ice cream binge. Among other flavors, I shall buy at least ten pints of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and not give a damn about cholesterol, sugar, fat and all the other unhealthy stuff that rich ice cream puts into my blood stream. Instead, I shall wallow in the consumption of bowl after bowl without the slightest hint of self-preservation. F*it.
- I shall run naked in a pouring summer rain. I last did this when I was 8 years old. It is exhilarating and I’ve asked my wife to join me no less than a thousand rains in our lifetime. She never takes me seriously. Come one good storm next year and it shall be the full monty no matter how offensive that may be. Why should I care what the neighbors think? I shall be free, wet and naked as a whale. F*it.
- I will not make my bed for seven days straight. I must get over this lifelong compulsion to always insist that things be neat and in order. F*it.
- I shall begin taking road trips to places I want to see. I will not devote even one stinking second worrying that the gasoline will cost more than the balance of the mortgage on the house. In fact, if I don’t pay the mortgage or any of my other bills while I am away on said road trips, who the hell cares? F*it.
- I shall shoot a gun. Not to worry, not at anybody, just at a target or something. This has been on my mind ever since I was a kid and had a black holster wrapped around my waist holding a pair of Hopalong Cassidy six shooters. I have never shot a real gun and while I am not a gun enthusiast, I would just once like to strap a colt 45 on my hip, ride into town and face Billy the Kid, or at least shoot some beer bottles off a fence rail. Bang Bang! F*it.
Okay, that’s a start. I can add things to the list as I go along. I am sure it will grow to great length in this final year of my youth. ..which reminds me, it’s time to take my vitamin supplements and smear on some wrinkle cream.