I wasn’t even in my thinking chair when I got to thinking about following up my last blog—the one about “if you build it, they will come.” I was out in the backyard looking after my annual attempt to raise a few handfuls of blueberries, when it hit me. Ever the aging curmudgeon, I saw a lot of truth—albeit negative—to this statement. Indeed, if you do most anything, “they” will come. Examples..
- If you plant any kind of food-bearing plant…insects, rodents or birds will come and eat.
- If you caulk or otherwise seal off any joint, crack, or pore in the construction of your home…ants will still come and find their way inside.
- If you secretly and craftily hide a small personal stash of cookies…some other family member will come, hunt it down and consume it.
- If you have finally acquired some nice furniture for your home…cats, dogs or children will come and claw, pee or spill cranberry juice on it.
- If you drive off the dealer lot in your brand new car…it is only a matter of time—often minutes—when some object will come and ding, scratch or otherwise mar the shiny new finish.
- If you are a caring, devoted, loving, completely “in-synch” couple…children will come and disrupt the relationship, establishing a hostile environment, causing unanticipated expenses and stimulating constant bickering.
- If you receive an unexpected windfall of cash…a likewise unexpected occurrence will come, claiming an equal and opposite expense.
- If you wear freshly laundered and pressed white…a colorful substance will come and deposit a very noticeable stain on it.
- If there are cell phones…teenagers will come and commence texting until said cell phones are bodily removed.
- If you feel a sense of “win” having discovered and placed yourself in the shortest checkout line…some calamity, such as a missing price scan or rejected credit card, will come to the person immediately in front of you.
- If you leave yourself all kinds of reminders so you won’t forget to do something, a distraction will come at the last minute and totally cause you to forget or miss whatever it was you wanted to remember.
- Just when you have finally figured out all the remotes for your “home entertainment” system, you will decide to “pause” the movie you are watching and when you return to resume watching it, confusion will come once again and occupy the next fifteen minutes while you try to return to the movie…during which time the most important part of the movie has gone on without you.
- No matter how hard you try to be optimistic, negative vibes will come and shake you back into your pessimistic self.
- If you’ve got the world on a string…scissors will come from time to time to snip it.
Well, you get the point…