I am sure many of you have heard the expression, “if you are not the lead dog, the view never changes.” I always liked that line, with one exception. I don’t think everyone is meant to lead…themselves, let alone others. So if you’re not a leader, but you are a good follower, do you still deserve being stuck with the same view? Perhaps/perhaps not.
My personality is, by nature, “antsy.” I cannot be still. I must being doing something, or at least moving. Fact is, I have a motion disorder which sort of exacerbates the issue. Some of my need to move is productive. It gets things done. At other times, it’s merely a waste of motion and energy, not to mention a tremendous annoyance.
The folks they call “doers” have always been “my kind of people.” They move and make things move. This appeals to my compulsiveness and I consider similar compulsivites to be kinfolk. Docile people and I, on the other hand, don’t work on the same level. While they may be happy sitting around achieving nothing, I don’t cope well watching them do it. So I go elsewhere and activate (maybe I should say “agitate”) things there.
Lately, however, I find myself wanting to be a little less doing and a little more relaxing. I need to let more things go, especially now that I am retired and just hanging around with no real mission except to keep hanging around with as little pain and suffering as possible. I suspect my family members have sensed little change in my demeanor. Perhaps some Teflon spray will help the bothersome things slither off me more gently.
As I attempt to drop back in line, I may be happy that the view never changes. After all, when you are up front, some things that come into view are downright ugly and just not welcome. They are the things that leaders must stare down. If the leader is good, he/she will protect me and my new colleagues in the back of the pack from having to deal with all this evil. This may not be such a bad thing.
So I am in transition right now. I am trying to be less the leader and more the follower. Having no more troops to lead, the change should be happening more quickly than it has. But that’s up to me and how much I want to let go. My only fear is that, now being back in the pack somewhere, I don’t allow the restricted view to make me too complacent…or shortsighted.