Image source: Baloo-baloosnon-politicalcartoonblog.blogspot.com

Last May I won the Worst Mess of the Month award from the housekeeping staff at my neighborhood hospital.  I had a pretty good—and gory—bleed from both ends of my digestive track.  It was a bit unnerving to say the least, but I survived it all.  Wife Rosemarie is still attempting to archive it.  As you can imagine I have had many follow-up procedures as the mad plumbers at renowned University of Miami Hospital try to figure out what sprung the leak.

All of these procedures have been pretty intrusive; they involve things being injected into me, probes being inserted down my throat and up other places, and lots of iodine circulating in and out of every crevice inside me as massive X-ray machines click and clack away.  I have been on more anesthesia trips than a Woodstock flower child.

Actually, it has been a little fascinating despite the trauma of it all.  Come Monday morning the final frontier is to be explored: my small intestine.  This apparently is a difficult area to get into and I thought I’d take you along for the ride.  Here’s how we’ll get there.  I will swallow a small capsule that looks pretty much like any pill, except this one is a little different.  The one end is crystal clear so the tiny little camera inside the capsule can look out and take pictures as it travels naturally through my stomach and then down into my small intestine.  Throughout its journey the camera will be snapping pictures of the scenic landscape and roadside tourist attractions.  This ongoing collection of photographs will be digitally signaled and downloaded onto an electronic receiver back at earth station base strapped to my waist.  I was happy to learn that this is an unmanned capsule that is being lowered inside me, though it was hinted that there may be one or two experimental chimpanzees aboard.

I found all this to be fascinating and thought I’d share the adventure with you.  I’ll let you know how it all comes out in the end, which is, I assume, the same process the capsule will eventually eject from within me and return to base.  If you wish to purchase the family pack of one 8/10, two 5/7s and ten wallet-size, I will be taking orders next week.  In the meantime, I will spend the weekend “cleaning up” the place so when the visitors arrive on Monday it will be simply sparkling!

Footnote:  Just to keep all this in perspective, I just received a link to an animation of the incredible journey of the mars rover…it is well worth watching:


About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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