JAKE’S IDEAL MEAL

I was tempted to say that my blog has finally gone to the dogs…but I would not be that trite.  Instead, I will simply bring to your attention and liking this contribution from our Contributing Editor, Ron Carmean.    Actually, Ron didn’t have much to do with today’s blog; he was asleep when it was written.  The real question you’ll be asking is not “Who let the dog out?” but instead…”How did the dog learn how to use a word processor?”

*****

JakeI have a dog.  His name is Jake.  I read somewhere that dogs can understand and respond to (but not say) 200+ words.  So, imagine my surprise when I found an entire article written by Jake.  Here is what he left for you and me…

Hi, I’m Jake.  I’m a dog, but I assume you knew that.  I have asked Ron to let me write an article by myself, but he always says: “Maybe, next time.”  This is “the next time.”

Most people know how important eating is to a dog.  However, people think I, and all other dogs, like dog food.  Some of it is OK.  We leave the rest.  People  think we leave it because we’re full.  Not really.  Same with “Dog Treats.”  We only eat the good ones.  Have you ever read the ingredients in dog food?  How much of that would you eat?  Why do you think dogs sometimes take food from your table?  Think about it.

I’ve talked to my friends about what would be “an ideal meal” for a dog (or, at least, for us).  For such an important occasion, we did not limit ourselves to dog food.  Here is our opinion.

Let’s start with basics: the so-called “staff of life.”  Bread.  When is bread made?  Very early in the morning.  Image the quality control.  Choose wisely.  Avoid already wrapped bread.  Either hand pick stuff yourself or go for a bagel.  A New York bagel.  No imitations.  There are not as many places making bagels nowadays  –not in NYC, either.  Pick your own.  That’s a good start for our ideal meal.  (I should add right here I’ve never been to France.  Some of my more well-to-do friends have been there.  They say the bread is great.  You’ll have to decide for yourself.)

Now, a staple of any dog’s pantry: cheese.  Why are you surprised?  You ever see a dog turn down cheese?  Not if it’s fresh.  Big variety, too.  Some of my best friends put out fantastic cheeses.  Watch where your cheese comes from.

OK, now we’re down to the important stuff.  Real big choice here.  Don’t skimp.  We’re talking Meat.  Beef, pork, lamb, bison if you can get it; venison, too.  Some people only go to certain butchers, but they’ll give their dog anything.  If you’d do it for yourself, do it for us.

Home stretch now.  How can you combine all these elements into a truly Ideal Dog Meal?  I’ll make it easy for you.  Remember three words: Bacon Cheese Burger.  Better yet, these three words: Double Bacon Cheeseburger.  This is the ideal meal.  It’s got bread, cheese, and TWO meats.  A happy dog is a good dog.  A good dog is a well-fed dog.

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About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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