There are certain things I have learned not to discuss with my wife. These are usually issues that gutsier men choose to debate with women. I choose not. I know when an issue is no longer an issue. It reaches that status when my wife declares, “that’s the way it’s gonna be so get over it.”
My colleague, Ron, however, is a mightier man than I. He has even chosen to discuss a “he vs. she” issue right here in this very blog–specifically, closet space and the division thereof. Good luck with this, Ron. If you need me, don’t call me…I’ll be in the closet over here with Bugsy.
A Brief Essay on Closet Space
By Ron Carmean, Contributing Editor
It is a well-known belief of men that women use approximately 73% of a home’s closet space. Men occasionally suggest a 50-50 split of this precious enclosed territory…but usually to no avail. When asked what they do with all this space in their control, women seem to have an immediate and well-thought out list of items, such as: out-of-season clothing, holiday decorations, vacation equipment (e.g., camping or skiing), pool cleaning paraphernalia…the list goes to infinity and beyond. Plus, while no man can possibly remember all the rest of the items listed, men have to admit, when pressed, everything mentioned seems reasonable.
In fact, from a woman’s point of view, if a man, indeed, HAD 23% MORE closet space, here is how she believes he would use it: storing old collections of baseball cards (worth a fraction of what they were 20 years ago); warehousing such things as bowling trophies and sports T-shirts with names like Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, Reno Aces and Richmond Flying Squirrels. She would add to the list: old sneakers with an odor even rare and well-aged cheeses cannot duplicate; hoodies with the names Sidd Finch, Bingo Long, and Roy Hobbs; his high school basketball uniform (which has not fit in 20 years) and, yes, Bugsy, the stuffed rabbit doll who got him through some particularly tough childhood traumas.
It is at this point discussion ceases.
Thanks for sharing, Ron. You can have Bugsy back now. BTW blog readers, it was even before my time, but way back in the 30-40s there was a radio sitcom call Fibber McGee & Molly. The program later transitioned to television. The comedy was best known for the iconic moment included in every episode when Fibber had to go to his closet to get something. Upon opening the closet door, a cascade of a gazillion things fell out onto the floor. This made great radio because the sound effects would exaggerate the moment and go on forever. Fibber would always respond with the same line: “Someday I have to clean this closet out.” Here’s a youtube clip for your blogging pleasure…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9FGC68YcwM
Books by Marc Kuhn: DEAD LETTER…Young love, misguided jealousy, a world war and a long lost letter whose shocking mystery is opened 40 years later; THE POPE’S STONE, an historical novel that follows two descendants of a Virginia family who, despite living a century apart, share uncanny similarities in their lives; NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE, a collection of whimsical verse featuring thought-provoking “never-do’s” that children should beware of; and ABOUT A FARM, a children’s book about challenges we all face every day, regardless of where we live. All three books are available at amazon.com and each has its own .com website under its title.
Intimate details about Marc Kuhn and other exhilarating stuff at http://www.marckuhn.com
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