I don’t know about you, but I am really tired of being surveyed. It’s almost impossible to buy any product or service today without being asked to fill out the infamous Customer Satisfaction Survey.
The problem is this: sincerely wears thin with frequency. Before it became a marketing trend, when we were occasionally asked to fill out a survey we were flattered that someone might actually care about our opinion. Once everyone and their brother, sister, cousin, etc. began badgering us with their surveys…well, it’s no longer sincere. Now it’s a nuisance.
I especially hate the surveys where answers are beyond a simple yes or no. These are the surveys that ask you to answer a question on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being greater than the best sex you’ve ever had, and 1 being equivalent to going through a bad divorce.
I don’t know about you, but I am done with these surveys. I refuse them now. You too? Good. Maybe they will stop this nonsense if enough of us rebel. In the meantime, here are some of the survey telltale signs to watch for:
“We value your opinion.”
“Please take a moment to…”
“Congratulations, you’ve been selected to…”
“Your call is important to us…”
“A Customer Service Representative will be right with you…”
Just once, I wish some of these companies would tell us how they really feel. For instance:
“Hey pal, if you don’t like it, go shop somewhere else.”
“Yo, ass-h, why don’t you try reading the directions we provided in the package before you bother us with stupid questions…”
“If you go to our website and insert this number…”
And, as I get ready to end this diatribe, how about those goodbye salutations—don’t you just love ‘em! You know these:
“Have a nice day.”
“Have a good one.”
Maybe I’m overreacting about all this stuff. Maybe you don’t mind it all as much as I do. Is that why I keep hearing Get a Life! echoing in my skull? I will have to think about this some more. Maybe I do need to “Chill!” Hey, while I’m doing that, I have this little survey about my blog I’d like you to fill out…
My newest literary effort is imminent.
It’s called DEAD LETTER.
Stay tuned to this blog for further details!
Other books by Marc Kuhn: THE POPE’S STONE, an historical novel that follows two descendants of a Virginia family who, despite living a century apart, share uncanny similarities in their lives; NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE, a collection of whimsical verse featuring thought-provoking “never-do’s” that children should beware of; and ABOUT A FARM, a children’s book about challenges we all face every day, regardless of where we live. All three books are available at amazon.com and each has its own .com website under its title.
Intimate details about Marc Kuhn and other exhilarating stuff at marckuhn.com
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