MEDICAL MADNESS

 Puzzled male shrugging wearing lab coat

                                   photo source:  ilawconnect.com

I am the cover boy for this month’s edition of Mystery Man Magazine.  I am, indeed, a mystery.  Last month I nearly bled to death as the veins inside my esophagus began bursting like rusty old water pipes.  After a few days of being poked and prodded in all kinds of locations while I was in the hospital, I was released and sent home with a bunch of new prescriptions. 

Soon after, my body must have been pissed off so it went on strike.  It initiated a sit-in and refused to get up and move around unless I wanted to feel dizzier than a carnival ride while my pulse took off at warp speed.  It was back in the hospital with the assumption that there may be a blood clot in my lungs or a blockage in my arteries.  More poking and prodding.  Results:  all clear, nothing wrong, go home. 

My wife wants a second opinon.  Dr. 2 knocks me out again and sticks a camera down my throat and one in the back door.  The two meet somewhere in the middle.  Film at 11.  Samples and various tissues are taken and sent to the lab.  I’m sent home.  Wait.  Wait some more. Made the bed.  Got winded.  Took a shower. Got winded.  Blew my nose. Almost keeled over.  Wait some more. 

Finally, the biopsies come back and show that…..that there is nothing desperately dangerous going on inside me…no explanation for anything that is happening to me…come back in 8 weeks and we’ll put another camera inside you.  There are some tangible results, however.  I have less money now than I did before all this started.  On the other hand, I have more pills now than I did before all this started. 

Adding insult to injury, I have been receiving letters from my insurance company explaining that they are not paying my doctors until they provide a more thorough explanation as to why I am seeing them.  What’s wrong with this picture?  Which reminds me…if you do pick up a copy of this month’s Mystery Man Magazine there’s a nifty picture of man on page 42 who ate a truffle and within minutes an avocado the size of an avocado plopped out of his left nostril.  Cool.

*****

Books by Marc Kuhn: THE POPE’S STONE, an historical novel that follows two descendants of a Virginia family who, despite living a century apart, share uncanny similarities in their lives; NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE, a collection of whimsical verse featuring thought-provoking “never-do’s” that children should beware of; and ABOUT A FARM, a children’s book about challenges we all face every day, regardless of where we live. All three books are available at amazon.com and each has its own .com website under its title.

Intimate details about Marc Kuhn and other exhilarating stuff at marckuhn.com

Many of the pictures used on my blog are photographs I’ve taken. If you see one you want and it is one of mine, simply ask in the comment section below and I will send it to you. Other illustrations used within this blog are culled from available images on the Internet. Copyrighted material is not intentionally displayed. If a source is provided, attribution is included on the blog. There is no attempt to steal or devalue any material used within this blog. If you have an issue or concern about anything included in the text or illustrations on this blog, please contact me.

Marc’s Blog is copyrighted 2012, 2013, Marc L. Kuhn. Reblogging is permitted with notification to author and if presented with attribution to source. Other reproduction, whether in whole or in part, must receive permission from author. Contact author via comment on this blog space or at info@marckuhn.com.

  

Advertisements

About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
This entry was posted in WHATEVER! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s