DISCLAIMER: I cannot believe I’ve spouting off again about guns. Really, I’m not that much of a gun nut one way or the other–except when stupid people do stupid things. So, that said, here we go again with my warning: I will not entertain debate or outrageous comments about gun control or, as you will see, national defense. If you want to lash out, get your own blog! Okay, here’s some satire, some silly observations and stuff that just worked its way onto this space. Good luck widdat.
I grew up on the cusp of hippidome—is there such a word? The whole American hippie movement started when I was in college. There were “ad-hoc” meetings and soapbox speakers peppered throughout the campus. If you wanted to protest something–anything–not a problem. Just make a sign on a stick, start yelling and others would come join you. Make Love not War, Flower Power, Hey Hey LBJ How Many Kids Did You Kill Today? Yeah, all that stuff was in my face. But I was always a passive young man. And that’s just what I did. I passed it right by and paid it all no mind.
Instead, I went my merry way to the student radio station where I got to play music and read announcements and communicate with my fellow students—that’s where I was and I was having a ball. When you stop and think about it, I actually fit right in. I was a really peaceful, peace-loving person…still am.
So now, over 50 years later, all of a sudden I want to put on a tie-dye shirt, wear beads if I have to and run out into the streets protesting. What the hell is wrong with this world?????
This morning I read that the city of Nelson in Georgia—no, not the country, but a state among the United ones here in the USA—actually passed a law making it mandatory that every citizen own a gun and have ammunition. Excuse me while I write that down again. A town in the state of Georgia has passed a law making it mandatory that every one of its citizens must own a gun and ammunition. The city council says it wanted to make a statement about the right citizens have to own guns.
Georgia was a predominant state that seceded from the United States back in the 1860’s because its citizens thought there was nothing wrong with capturing Africans like wild animals, putting them in chains, shipping them over here jammed body-to-body in infested slave boats, then selling them to the fine folk of the magnificent South where they would enjoy picking cotton and being abused for the rest of their lives. Yeah, that Georgia. Trouble is, lots of folks who live there still feel that way.
As I look back at it now, not that I was there at the time, I think after the Civil War was done ravaging the country I would have favored that states like Georgia remain seceded from the United States. There remain there today, in that very same state, some of the most incredibly stupid people I have ever read about. (Insert here mention about the new gun law in Nelson, Georgia.) And the bigger problem is that…many Americans across the entire country agree with them.
Yep, that’s me with the give-peace-a-chance sign in my hand, marching down Constitution Avenue in our Nation’s Capital. Yeah, I got one of them round peace symbols on my shirt. And yeah, I’m singing All We Are Saying is Give Peace a Chance. Look at me–I can’t believe I’m finally an activist! Well, at least in my mind.
Okay, let’s switch gears a moment and I know I’m really leaving myself open here, but I cannot believe this crap that is going on right now with the nutsy North Koreans. It’s almost as if countries all over the world join a pool and when conflicts seem to be quieting down, the country that is next in the pool, revs up its rhetoric, starts playing with its nuclear chemistry set and says it’s going to kill all the evil imperialist Americans. What the hell is up with this?
If you live in one of those countries and feel this way, I invite you to come visit me. Yeah, come on over and stay at my house for a few weeks. I have a nice guest room. I’d love to have you. Bring the family. I’ll show you around, make a great breakfast for you each morning and take you for a relaxing day at the beach. You’ll see that Americans are actually nice people and we don’t want to invade anyone, steal from them and take over their McDonalds. No, most Americans just want to watch the damn game on television and hope their team wins; then go out and mow the lawn and maybe visit the folks in the nursing home. Yeah, come on over! Come see the real us.
You see, I don’t think our government is so innocent either. Here I go again really leaving myself wide open. I mean, I agree we should make sure we have our ducks in a row (meaning defenses) when nutsy North Korea says it’s going to rain missiles down on us…but is it absolutely necessary that we conduct war games in their backyard and send our big bad stealth bombers just to show off. See that North Korea—na na na na nanaaaaa. Don’t tell me our soldiers have to practice right this very moment and right in that very place. Bull. All we have to do is decide to push what button. So why intimidate these idiots? Let ‘em rattle their swords and just make sure we’re prepared…but be quiet about it. There’s no need to add fuel to the fire.
Okay, enough with all this. I know I’ve gone overboard. But it’s like I said in a blog a few months back—every once in awhile countries need to be put in time-out. You know, just like kids who are acting out. If you’re one of those countries then get yourself over to the time-out corner and sit there until you calm down and you’re ready to rejoin the other kids and play nice. Oh, I guess it’s a little crowed over there in the corner right now. Just ask those nice folks from Georgia to make room for you.
Marc Kuhn is the author of three books. Recently published is an adult historical novel, THE POPE’S STONE. The other two books are for children: NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE…And a bunch of other things you should never do!; and ABOUT A FARM, lessons for life regardless of where you live. All three books are available at amazon.com and each has its own .com website under its title.
Intimate details about Marc Kuhn and other exhilarating stuff at marckuhn.com