A Slice of Bread in the Hand is Worth A Gaggle of Geese in the Bush!

GooseFamily2smAs some of you may know, my house backs up on a small canal in South Florida.  There, all kinds of animal life are abound, especially birds.  Please refer to my blog of January 30th (This Blog’s For the Birds).

Several weeks ago boyfriend and girlfriend Egyptian Geese emerged out of the bushes with a brood of freshly hatched goslings—ten of them!  I don’t want to even think what kind of goose’n had been going on back in those bushes, but these two managed to out-perform all the other geese in the neighborhood.

countingI am reasonably sure that these Egyptian geese did not actually come all the way from Egypt.  They do have an exotic foreign appearance compared to the usual white and Canada geese I’ve seen.   If you are into earth tones, you will find them attractive.  They have various rich tones of brown and beige with white and dark green underwings.  Apparently, there must be someone who counts Egyptian geese.  By the time every gosling has reached adulthood, it has been smeared with a black smudge across its breast.  That’s how you know it’s been counted.

So, back to Mr. and Mrs. Egyptian Geese (I am making the assumption that by now the two were married in a hastily put together ceremony over by the Ford pickup).  They have set up their household farther up the canal, on the other side.  That is a good thing.  Why?  Because Egyptian Geese are noisy—at least the females are.

goose55The womenfolk among these geese like to honk.  This young lady honks all the time.  It is a relentless, incessant honking.  It’s like honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk.

Okay, I guess I’ve made my point.   Sometimes I think her honker runs off one of those 9-volt batteries–you know, the ones they advertise that just keep on going and going and going.

Now, I could say something sexist about the female making all this noise honkin’ away senselessly, while the male only occasionally makes a subdued hissing sound. It’s like hiss hiss silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence hiss hiss silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence silence.

No, I won’t say anything about why the female is so much noisier than the male.  I mean, I could draw a comparison with my wife when…well, maybe I should just move on to my next thought.

One day, the new family was out for a morning waddle and they stopped directly across the canal from my house.  I think the word is out amongst the bird community that the humans who live in the house with the stinking little fluffy white dog are prone to provide fresh bread to passing families of geese.  The trick is, wait until the dog is securely inside the house and the humans are outside with the bread in hand.

geeseaamSo, with this in mind, the geese dip their little webbed feet into the canal to test the water and decide it is warm enough and worth the effort to cross on over and have breakfast.  And, so they do.  Now, here is the problem for those of you who have geese hanging around your house—that is a normal thing isn’t it?  DON’T FEED THEM OR THEY WILL KEEP COMING BACK!

Granted, there are fewer beaks to feed since there are four less members in the gaggle that originally emerged from the bushes.  This is normal.  Some of the new arrivals don’t fare well for one reason or another.  One or two may be carried off in the beak of a passing Great Egret.  Others simply may not like all the exposure so Ma Nature arranges another alternative for them.  And still others may just fall into some goose black goose12smhole somewhere and never be seen again.  Those who survive do what comes naturally:  they grow and keep growing.  See, the ones to the right are the same kids as above…just a few weeks later.

In sum, the routine is this.  The sun comes up in the morning.  I make a pot of coffee and feed the dog and the cat.  I may have a bowl of cereal or some toast. Then, somewhere in an hour or so there will be this honking noise outside, out back of the house, on the lawn between the canal and my little patio.   If I want the honking to stop, I have a choice.  I can put up with it until mother goose (no relation) decides there is no bread to be had cookedgoosethis day.  That decision may or may not come within three to four hours of continuous honking.  Or, I can take a few slices of bread and stand on the edge of the patio, break them into small goose-bite-size pieces and toss them to the masses.  As you can see, I really have no choice.  You might even say…get ready………my goose is cooked!


Marc Kuhn is the author of three books.  Recently published is an adult historical novel, THE POPE’S STONE.  The other two books are for children:  NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE…And a bunch of other things you should never do!; and ABOUT A FARM, lessons for life regardless of where you live.

All three books are available at amazon.com and each has its own .com website under its title.


About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at http://marckuhn.com The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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2 Responses to A Slice of Bread in the Hand is Worth A Gaggle of Geese in the Bush!

  1. Marc Kuhn says:

    Hi Suzanne–Hope you and your family are having a good 2013 so far….just keep your bread for yourself!


  2. Suzanne lander Langman says:

    You are FUNNY


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