Never Goose a Moose!

I am taking a pause in presenting my Author’s Diaries.  It may be a permanent hiatus; not sure yet.  There has been little interest in the Diaries so I can take that as a hint.  If you felt otherwise, you should leave a quick comment.  Also, it’s getting to the point in the story that I may have a hard time continuing with the diary without giving up some important parts of the plot—something I don’t wish to do.  Okay, enough on this.

This blog presents two excerpts from my first children’s book: NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE…and a few other things you should never do!

This book is a collection of “never-do’s” that children (and adults too, for that matter) should beware of.  There are a dozen, all written in whimsical verse and illustrated by an incredible artist who lives in the UK.  Her name is Lynda Mangoro (­).  More info on the book at

Of course, you can buy this book on amazon.  It comes in paperback only.  I have to go back and get an engineering/web degree to figure out how to convert it to Kindle since Kindle doesn’t like the format I have for the picture and verse.  Maybe someday.  Whatever.

Here are the two excerpts…hope you like them.

Never Leave a Bug in a Jar in Your Room at Night!


Never leave a bug in a jar in your room at night.

It could lead to sleepless hours full of fright.

I once put a beetle in a jar by my bed.

He buzzed around so loud I thought he was inside my head.

I worried he would get lost in there and never get out.

This kept me frantic all night just tossing about.

My buddy Benjamin had a praying mantis bottled up one night

He dreamed it got out and crawled in his bed and started to bite.

Bugs don’t like being kept in jars or boxes, or cans for that matter.

In the middle of the night all you can hear is their pitter patter.

They’ll keep you awake wondering if they’ll cause you any harm

And you’ll swear you keep feeling them crawling up your arm.

Nope, if you want to sleep soundly knowing everything’s all right,

Never leave a bug in a jar in your room at night.


Never go on Grownup Errands With Your Mom and Dad!


Never go on grownup errands with your mom and dad.

Ask for a babysitter to watch you; you’ll be glad.

Moms and dads go to the strangest places,

and usually meet people with unsmiling faces.

Maybe it’s a banker or a real estate broker they have to see.

You’ll be bored silly and be told to stop being so fidgety.

They’ll probably talk and talk and sign some documents,

or do all kinds of things that seem to make no sense.

And the room you’re stuck waiting in is stuffy and boring.

There’s nothing to play with and others waiting may be snoring.

You’ll have nothing to do but take off your shoes and play with your toes,

or you could make funny faces, or maybe even pick your nose.

There’s nothing more awful than having to wait with nothing to do.

Grownups sometimes forget you need to be busy doing something, too.

No, you’d be better off with a babysitter, you’d be a lot less sad

than going on grownup errands with your mom and dad.



Marc Kuhn is the author of three books.  Recently published is an adult historical novel, THE POPE’S STONE.  The other two books are for children:  NEVER GOOSE A MOOSE…And a bunch of other things you should never do!; and ABOUT A FARM, lessons for life regardless of where you live.

All three books are available at and each has its own .com website under its title.

The entire editorial and illustrated content of this blog are copyright Marc L. Kuhn 2009, 2013.  All copyrighted materials, in total or in part, may not be copied or reproduced without the explicit permission of the author.

About Marc Kuhn

I am a retired radio exec. I've worked at major stations in Philadelphia, Washington, D.C. and Miami. That was then. This is now: I've published seven books and this blog thingy. Need to know more? Really? Okay, I bare/bear all at The other links are for the websites of each of the books I've written. I've been busy! Hope you'll stop by and check them out. Thanks for your interest!
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